i always hated pinatas as a kid. never knowing who was gonna bust it open. never knowing if i would be fast enough. never knowing how much candy i’d end up with in the end. i didn’t know how things would turn out for me because i was so skinny and helpless. i always had anxiety the whole time. i always appreciated party throwers who gave out candy bags instead of subjecting us to manual labor for some candy that we may or may not be strong/fast enough to get.
Saturday Night Halfway gone I sit in my buddy’s dorm room
The week had been filled with Kisses and cuddles in the Sunday Morning light Until “We’re just friends” Wednesday Night I was cool We didn’t cross that line At least I tried to be the good guy
The phone rings It’s 10:39 "Hey, what are you up to tonight" "I don’t know yet, why?" "Well, I’m really high and drunk with my girlfriends, what do you think about Friends with Benefits" "Well, I thought you set me in the friend zone anyway. Can we talk about this with sober minds please?" My friends look across the room from me Doing air windmills like I was going to dunk it home
I wanted to pass so bad
We went out with our respective wolf pack To my knowledge, Me and her would be at separate parties We walked down Euclid Ave. Party Road We met up with the rest of our wolf pack I jump on my boys back and say what’s good I look behind me
She’s there with her girlfriends And she’s following me wherever I go Fuck
We go to a tropical themed shitshow "I don’t want us to look like a couple" She goes to grind on Mark Zuckerberg’s doppelganger While I chill with my hipster friend talking Arcade Fire
35 minutes pass I go to walk over to her Tell her I’m leaving She sees me and pushes the dude away "I didn’t know she had a boyfriend" He said petrified I told him the truth "I don’t know what me and her are…"
Soon I’m the one getting grinded on Her pink North Face becomes unzipped She turns her head back to search for my lips She finds them and turns around completely Hands all over my face But her fingers feel like leeches Sucking my emotions dry
After watching her piss in a bush on the way back to the dorm Unable to hold hands because “We’re Nothing” We get back to our floor "I’m gonna make mac and cheese for my girls" She says "Have a good night" I reply I go back to my room I sink into my bed
20 minutes later The knock I didn’t want sounds through the ear I open the door T-shirt Panties Nothing
"I just wanna talk"
"I just wanna talk" became "Take off your pants" which soon became "Your roommate will understand" as he tried to find a place to hide Which soon became 3 hours of feeling numb
She leaves frustrated while I sleep in mental vomit
"That was fun, we should make this a thing" She says the next morning After I had to save face in front of my roommate As my eyes searched wide open Looking for a way to save face for myself The second and third times were even worse Sober for the former Tarzan became Jane The blackout you Oh my god what a shame
The end of the semester was the end for me I didn’t talk to her until the end of that next semester DJ’ing a party She came up to me "I’m not drunk right now…." The alcohol leaked from her breath like Carbon Monoxide I didn’t even want to breathe the same air as her any more
I made up an alibi So I wouldn’t cave in from the inside But the truth of the matter is She left me blind with bitterness For a year and a half While she took another notch And used it to start her parade around me As I walked down with my head under the clouds